Continuing on about that long family chat through dinner (which lasted 6 hours, no joke. the adults thought it was 10pm or 11pm when it was actually 1:30am...), there was something else I learned about.
It turned out that, because I came from a big family, and my immediate family came to the U.S. for a better life, there was a bigger pressure on us. My mom's cousin came with his family when he was one and a half year old, and my second uncle established his family in the U.S., so we are technically the third in the family to make our footing in the U.S. I heard from my mom's cousin that when he was in college, he felt pressured because my second uncle told his uncle (the cousin's father), that my mom's cousin shouldn't learn law since it might not be useful in Taiwan. Thus, he was stuck between finishing his education in law, or picking another field. If he failed, then it would be double the failure considering how he was told not to, but he prevailed. That was something I didn't know.
And just a year ago or so, I was told the same by my mom. She said that a lot of people from our family are watching and waiting for us to fail so they can feel less guilty and less bad about their children's ability. I thought, "Wow, thanks, as if academics isn't stressful enough already." Here's the thing I don't get. These are adults, parents who are supposed to be role-models for their kids, yet they're waiting for others' kids to fail just so they can feel better about themselves. What kind of B.S. is that. Instead of waiting for other people to fail, how about you get your acts together and teach yourself to become a better person before you expect more from your children. A normal family member would be supportive and understanding, especially since living in a foreign country and learning an entirely new language are two tasks that aren't exactly easy. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Instead, I only see vultures waiting for their prey to die so they can enjoy their meal. That's just sad. I told my friend this, and she said I shouldn't worry about it and just do what I have been doing. I told her I wasn't really worried, because it all comes down to how I deal with it. But, I don't have to deal with people who aren't worth my time. Though, in a very distant part of my mind, I am aware that there are eyes watching to see me fail. I'm not afraid because I believe myself, and I'm confident that I can be successful as long as I work hard. I'm just annoyed with those vulture eyes because they have no right to look.
This leads me to another thought. I know adults are supposedly more experienced and know a whole lot more than people my age, but honestly, I really don't think they're any better than kids sometimes. Instead, it's because they're "older" that they use this excuse to justify their unreasonable actions. There were so many incidents in which I had to deal with adults who behaved like children, yet I couldn't say or do anything just because of the fact that they're "older". Older doesn't mean you're wiser; it only means you lived longer. Whether or not you learned important values during the years that went by is another story.
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