Insecurity

Whenever I talk about dramas, or hear about dramas, they often share common points: rumors, jealousy. Those two lead to the biggest culprit: insecurity.

Why do people spread rumors? Because they're insecure about their status around their talented or popular friend/acquaintance so they want to degrade their friend's status among their peers by making up stories.

Why does jealousy exist? Because those who become jealous have absolutely no confidence in themselves that they blame others for outshining them (or they blame some outer-spiritual being for having born the way they were).

Why are there conflicts between people? Generally, it's because of their personality, or their principles don't match. Sometimes it's mis-communication and both parties decide not to talk it out (which totally helps with the "mis-communication" issue), or it's because one person constantly bugs the other about the same or similar things over and over again. I think even the most patient person in the world would get mad if you ask him/her the same question more than ten times. It's not because the questioner is stupid. It's because of that person's insecurity. If a person's insecure, they generally want people to notice them, or see them in good light, so they try to look for confirmation by asking questions concerning themselves. Yeah, you're a normal person if you ask someone something about yourself if they're different questions, and only once. But if you ask more than three times, you're asking for a punch in the face.

Therefore, don't make friends with people who are insecure about themselves. They will end up causing drama, telling you their drama in their point of view so that they can get comfort from your appraisal (because they're insecure to start with), or asking things, looking for praises. I'm not saying they're bad people, and they probably can't help themselves. However, it's because they CAN'T help themselves that there's really nothing you can do. No matter how many times you tell them to be more confident about themselves for who they are, if they don't see it that way, it's utterly useless. I had a friend who would ask me things just so that I can praise her, or ask me for approval. And honestly, it gets tiring. If you're an adult now, you shouldn't be asking others certain questions about yourself, because you're a freakin adult.

For all the insecure audience:
There's something called constructive criticism. I think now it's time to have constructive comparison. Insecure people only see what they lack, not what they have. That's also another annoying factor. Following up on that, if you don't even see your good qualities, how will others be able to see them? If you always talk about how you lack this and that, or about how others have this and you don't, then how do you expect people to respect you? Respect yourself first. Respect what you have first. It's normal to compare yourself with others, though I always think it's better to compare you with yourself. But, even so, to compare with others is to discover how different you are compared to others. It's to emphasize individualism, not to reinforce how much you lack compared to others. Of course, it's healthy to always improve yourself, but it's self-destructive to try to be better than someone just to make yourself look good or feel good. And if you're not better at something, so what? Life goes on, deal with it, live with it.