Childhood

The other day, my friend posted on my facebook a video of 50 things you have done while you were a kid. They were funny to watch, especially with this guy acting like a 6-year old kid. Okay well, it was also kind of freaky and creepy.

Anyways, I watched those fifty things, and I tried to count how many of those I did. I realized, I didn't really do that many of them. And then I realized, I didn't have much of a childhood. I've always known it since I had to be mature given all the circumstances I was in. But that video just gave me more of an idea of how children are supposed to act. It makes me feel kind of sad, that I did not have that kind of childhood. I mean, my friends said they did more than half the stuff, if not all, and some still do it today. They had a carefree childhood, while I had to deal with learning how to speak English, doing my hw without knowing the language, not understanding why I was in the U.S., and feeling insecure for I don't even know how long. It's strange, because I don't get that feeling any more. I don't really remember how it feels like, but I know I don't want to remember. It was something along the lines with fear, anxiety, and perhaps a bit of paranoia.

On the other hand, if I didn't grow up the way I did, I wouldn't be myself right now. I don't know whether or not I like the current me, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like the less mature me. So I guess there's a give and take here. I gave away my childhood and traded it for the mentality of a teenager...actually, I don't even know how to calculate mental age, but I sure know that I'm more mature than an average college student. Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm old. I think my older friends would smack me for that last comment.